Monday was my birthday. Coffee & I shared the same birthday.
A sort of a bittersweet moment this year, considering we're no longer together.
Remaining friends. Sort of. Not really.
He stopped by yesterday to see me. Again, very bittersweet.
When you love someone for three years, you find it hard to see them.
You find it hard to talk. To feel. To respond. But you can't help smiling.
The warmth in their presence even until after your feelings have changed towards them.
Or you think they've changed. But the truth is, you'll always have them.
The most deserving person of love who endures the worst because of me - shows up to see me.
I never knew, three years ago, that I would stop loving him wholeheartedly.
I never expected my emotions to drift. I never expected to cheat on my first love.
Yet he was standing in front of me, seeing all of me, still taking me in.
"Why do you love me?"
"I love you because I love you."
I used to love him that way.
No need for reasons. Love was love.
I just didn't know where I became the heartbreaker.
In the midst of confusion and pain and uncertainty, we made love.
Yes, we made love.
Real love, the kind of love I could only get from him.
The love I needed.
Following a hearty and enjoyable ride home while eating McDonalds.
Yesterday was one of the best days of my life.
So I sit here drinking Coffee.
Thinking about Coffee.
I want to love Coffee again.
I want to take it all back.
Coffee is worth it. So worth it.
I. Love. You. Coffee. Even when it feels like I don't.
